Random Funnies

There are a few funny things I wanted to document before my ever atrophying memory loses them:

June's Birthday Terror:

June really seems to adore babies; she always notices them in movies, photos, at church, etc. And I once saw her playing with a friend's baby doll, so I thought that was a reasonable present to get for June's birthday. I asked my dad if he'd wrap up one of my old baby dolls (remember the American Doll Bitty Babies?) to give to June. But, being the doting grandfather he is, my Dad decided to go buy a very nice, new, high-end baby doll. An Asian one, for reasons that I believe are obvious (Asian babies are the cutest. Oh, and June is a quarter Japanese)

The only problem, of course, is that this baby is super creepy looking. And I'm sure it didn't help that we introduced it to June by telling her it's her cousin Lisako. So now Lisako is this small plastic creepy thing.

June would have nothing to do with it.

She would yell, "NO!" and back away from the doll. Rika, with her mild case of sadism, took to following June around with the baby.


My dad, undaunted, resolved to return with the Caucasian, less creepy baby doll.


But here comes a confession: I was a little worried about this. I mean, how would that sound to people? "My daughter doesn't like Asian dolls; only white dolls." Plus, I suppose I had to admit that there was a little part of me that has been worried my children are a little racist. Back when Dane was probably about 18 months old, I bought him a baby doll, too. I wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll, so I bought the cheapest one with yarn hair that I found on eBay. It is a mixed race baby doll, with lovely caramel skin tone. And so far neither of my kids have cared about it in the least.

So I worried, if June goes for the Caucasian baby doll, it might confirm my fears.

Luckily for race relations, June hated the white baby too.

So my kids may not have developed their maternal and paternal instincts, but they aren't racist.

Teat Time

June loves to play with Dane's little tea set. She can entertain herself for quite awhile pouring and sipping water, or occasionally punch.

She calls it teat.

"Mommy, I wan teat please."
"Mommy, more teat!"
"Mommy, I need teat!"

Adventures in Newsprint

I was taught at some point to clean mirrors and windows with Windex and newspaper, since it won't leave lint that rags or paper towels do. So I keep a stash of newspapers in the bathroom cabinet with the cleaning supplies. And since I don't actually subscribe to any newspapers, whenever I get those free mailings, I throw them into the cabinet.

One weekend we were all working together to clean the bathrooms, and Dane and June found endless amusement with their very own pages of the newspaper. They used them as pretend blankets, as mats to stand on, etc. At one point, Dane pointed to a picture and said, "This man is naked and has huge muscles," but when I looked at it, it was just a shirtless guy, so I didn't think anything of it. Then I noticed that June's page had a large ad for free HIV testing, and while I found it amusing that my toddler is playing with something such an ad, I again didn't think anything of it.

When we finished cleaning the bathrooms and I was gathering the newspapers back up to put them away, I noticed photos of a drag queen pageant and a bunch of scantily clad men posing on poles.

Apparently, the newspaper my kids had been playing with were pages from the Gayly. And while I support the right to free speech and all, we decided the pole dancing and cross dressing were topics to be discussed with our children at a later date. And probably not with visual aids.